Author’s Spotlight ~ J.L.Durfey and her The Kali Lockton Trilogy

He released his tight hold around me and pulled back, his eyes swimming in an abyss of regret and sorrow. “Kal, I’m sorry.”

I struggled with my next breath because of the sudden, inexplicable weight on my chest.

I pushed myself off him and stood. He reached for my hand, but I pulled away. “Don’t, Jared. Don’t do this to us. Just don’t say the words. Please.” I grabbed my towel, and wrapped myself up, as I began walking back to the apartment, while choking down the heavy sob that I suppressed in my throat. He followed me back to the apartment, but I was too weak to acknowledge him fully. My heart was breaking for him, for myself, but mostly, for us. I refused to accept the justification behind his words. He didn’t have to do this, and I only wished he wouldn’t.

As soon as we reached my room, I threw on the closest article of clothing I found, which happened to be his t-shirt, and crawled into bed. I finally worked up the courage to meet his eyes as he stood in the center of the room, staring down at me, the deeply conflicted emotions evident on his face. I scooted my body closer beneath the blanket, loudly wishing he would lie down next to me with my thoughts. His jaw clenched as he contemplated what to do. It killed me seeing him going through so much pain, and putting both of us through so much heartbreak when it wasn’t even necessary.

“Please, Jared,” I whispered feebly, knowing he knew exactly what I was asking. I needed to comfort him as much as I needed his comfort. I wasn’t ready to let him walk away from me. Not like this.

He slowly, reluctantly approached the bed and moved under the blanket. I closed my eyes, relief washing over me, even if it was only temporary. Scooting closer to him, I laid my hand on his upper abdomen and nestled my head in the crook of his arm.

After a moment of lying still, he turned onto his side and pulled me towards him. A tiny tear escaped my eye. I could hear the pain in his labored breathing, but neither of us said a word. We lay silently, clinging to each other, comforting each other in the only way we knew how in that moment. I could feel the heaviness in both of our hearts as we lay together in the silent, still air. When I finally dared to peek at Jared’s face, my heart was ripped from every life-breathing blood vessel it once thrived on. His eyes were fastened on mine and a single tear rolled from his eye. I brought my shaky fingers to his cheek and wiped the damp skin, embracing the pain that was bubbling up in my chest. He closed his eyes and kissed my wrist lightly as it brushed over his lips.

For hours we lay there, quietly breaking in each other’s arms, comforting each other, and neither of us daring to move. The only relief my heavy heart felt came from the fleeting sleep that eventually overcame me.