Sunday Post with Berls | Anxiety!!!

Posted March 22, 2020 by Berls in The Sunday Post / 8 Comments

BerlsSundayPost

News at Home: Anxiety!!!

I am not generally an anxious person, but this COVID shit has me all kinds of twisted up. I hate that my husband has a job that keeps him from being able to stay home. And even though I can work from home, I can’t very well do that with Dante, so I’m still taking him to daycare. And I don’t know how I feel about that any more. In the last 30 minutes my husband has plied me with questions, because he’s so anxious. Should I and Dante go stay with my brother and his partner? Should he quit his job and stay home? Should I keep Dante home?

And then my worries I haven’t voiced to him because who needs more stress… Dante is supposed to get his 6 month shots this week (he turned 6 months on the 18th), but is it a good idea to be at a doctor’s office right now? And is getting groceries safe? And we have a good supply of stuff, but who knows how long this will go on and if they shut down stores, will we still have enough? I see all these memes about how much people are eating and I find myself unintentionally rationing, because I have this subconscious fear of running out. We have lots of formula, but people are stock piling it, what if we need it and it’s gone?

BREATHE>>>>

So yeah, I have lots of anxiety right now. It all started when I started working from home Monday. That shift from normal life to this quarantine situation really made everything hit me hard. I love Dante so much, but man, what a bad time to have an infant y’all.

My week was STRESSFUL. Monday I worked from 5am – 1:15 pm, because Daycare had the babies on shifts to make sure they had no more than three babies in a room at a time. Dante’s shift was 7:30 – 1:30. And it was a long day. My work day now begins at 5am to try and capitalize on the time Dante is asleep. Tuesday got worse because Dante had a low grade fever when he woke up. 99.9. Normally that’s fine for daycare, but right now? Nope. So I kept him home. Then Wednesday, same deal, low grade fever. So I tried to work from home while he was sleeping, which was NEVER when I had to be on a conference call. And I had a lot of them, because I was in charge of getting all our instructors setup to teach remotely. By Thursday I was so relieved to take him, but they told me that they were down to 3 babies in his room, so no more shift, he could come all day. Yay, except, it made me question myself. Should I be keeping him home? How can I provide for him by working, though, if I keep him home? I find that I’m really hoping Kiko’s job will get shut down because we can afford to temporarily lose his income, but we can’t afford for him to quit and lose his rent benefits and job long-term.

To top it off, Dante was so fussy this week. I thought he was teething, hence the low grade fever. Thursday I had to go up to daycare to feed him because he cried nonstop and wouldn’t eat for the teachers 🙁 Then Friday he started with diarrhea. He has no fever and is still drinking formula well for us. So IDK what to do, but I really hope he’ll be better today. Maybe he feels the stress? I took him for a long walk Saturday (staying well away from everyone outside) and it was so nice to just be outside for a while. Anyway..

I hope everyone is staying safe and doing their best to not let the anxiety get them down. I was thankful to Hallmark for Christmas movies, which I started watching yesterday. And while I won’t be putting up my Christmas lights, I’m enjoying the thought!

Blog News

Since we all could use some good stuff, Michelle and I decided spur of the moment to have a Facebook Live yesterday… where we announced our plans (formulated mere minutes before the Facebook Live) to host COYER: Quarantine Edition.

The post is up, joining us in feeling better through books and an awesome community.

Last Week on the Blog

How was your week? Sending you support & safe wishes!

Berls is waging a war with anxiety.. and losing! Read about it in the Sunday Post with Berls. Click To Tweet

About Berls

Michelle adopted me as part of her blog when I decided to close down my blog, Fantasy is More Fun. The blog was dying, but my love of reading and the blogosphere was still strong as ever - so I found my new home here at Because Reading!

I'm not just a book lover, but a one time author (that hopes to be more in the future), wife, and step-mom to the craziest, sweetest 17 year old on the planet. I also have the privilege of teaching Kindergarten. I love what I do and you can expect it to bleed into my posts. Teaching is a big a part of me as my family and reading. So grab a glass of wine and chat books, blogging, and family with me!

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8 responses to “Sunday Post with Berls | Anxiety!!!

  1. I’m with you on the anxiety! So much anxiety! And even though I have plenty of food in the house – and can go out and buy more – I’m hyperventilating about food… I blame the panic buyers who are stockpiling everything! They’re making it hard for people to get what they need when they go to the store and I just wish they’d stop! That anxiety would go away if I knew what I needed would be there when I needed to shop, you know?
    I sympathise on how much worse it would be with an infant… What a situation this is!

    I hope this week has been a bit calmer for you Berls! Take care.

  2. I’d definitely just call the pediatrician to see what they recommend and just go by that. That’s at least something that someone else can make the decision for you! We are lucky in that my husband can work from home and we already home school so I’m used to being home with him all the time (he’s 10 so that’s a whole different ballgame from an infant!) . I think we are going a bit stir crazy though without our usual outings and errands. Hope next week is calmer for you.

  3. I’m sure Dante is probably picking up on everyone’s stress. I’m sure the daycare teachers are stressed, you are stressed, pretty much the whole world is stressed. Babies pick up on that for sure. And I can’t imagine trying to work while a baby was at home with me. I have a hard enough time keeping my dogs quiet when I am on a Zoom session or making a video for my students.
    Hang in there! My therapist told me the other day to not make any long term decisions during a time like this because it would all be based on info that is changing daily. The more I began to embrace that and recognize those things that are out of my control, the less stressed I was. I have pretty severe anxiety and OCD, so I was worried this week would be non stop panic attacks, but I have been doing incredibly well!
    Stay healthy and don’t doubt yourself!

    Samantha recently posted: #SundayPost: Quarantine week 1
  4. I think all of this is harder for those with kids. I don’t feel the pressure or anxiety. It’s just dad and I and he is retired and well I didn’t have a job to lose as I haven’t found one to begin with that I could do that didn’t require being on my feet. (my arthritis in my knees is killer) Dad and I was still meeting our friends at Hardees for morning coffee up till right now. I believe by tomorrow though that is over as our Governor finally shut down all restaurant lobbies. We have even though it was nice out of going through the drive thru then finding a picnic table to still chat with our friends. So I think being told I can’t do things bugs me more than anything as I am kind of a homebody, introvert who is not that social anyway. Hope it’s over soon and everyone can get back to doing normal things.

    Have a great week if you can and read a good book!
    Stormi ox

    Stormi Johnson recently posted: The Week In Review #292
  5. I don’t have anxiety but I do these days. Along the lines of your thoughts – we have been home a week, no trips out. If we are home 2 weeks and aren’t sick then I don’t want to go out. It’s like that will just start another round of 2 weeks to see if we are going to get sick. I’m old but I’m only worried about me from the standpoint of all the things I do for my daughter that she doesn’t understand. And for her because of her health issues. Well enough of that talk. Oh but I am sure Dante feels the stress, just like dogs, they know

    I am excited about COYER! It’s so great you are doing it. The fb live was just great to see you , to hear your voices. I feel lucky I happened on it. Thanks for sharing about the Read-along.

    Have a healthy week and enjoy a few good reads!

    Anne – Books of My Heart Here is my Sunday Post   

    Anne - Books of My Heart recently posted: House of Earth and Blood EXCERPT by Sarah J. Maas