Sunday Post with Berls | The one with the mom drama

Posted January 17, 2021 by Berls in The Sunday Post / 28 Comments

BerlsSundayPost

The one with the mom drama

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kim @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share news~ A post to recap the past week on your blog and showcase books and things we have received. Share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead.

News at Home

Sunday 1/10

Today was mostly a lazy day – the best sort. Dante slept until 8:30, making for a great lie in. After breakfast, I did some Buffy the Vampire Slayer binge watching, along with some blogging. Then it started to snow! I hate the snow and any cold, wet weather in general, but since this is the first snow of Dante’s life I actually was a little excited to show it to him. He smiled at it and then was done. LOL! Thankfully it didn’t stick and I don’t think we’ll have any more any time soon. I left super early due to the weather (which Texans do not know how to drive in) for my vaccine. It actually didn’t take that much longer to get there. I got my 2nd dose of the Pfizer vaccine and am now working on my 95% immunity!

I stopped at Target on the way home and bought Dante some more pants – he keeps out growing his! When I got home, Dante was awake and apparently refusing his nap. So we played, I did some blog visits, and I watched some more Buffy, including the best/worst episode “The Body.” After dinner my arm was sore from the shot, so I took some Tylenol. The arm pain was the worst side effect last time, so I’m getting ahead of it this time.

Monday 1/11

Today was a decent day. Work was steady and I kind of got an update on the promotion. I say kind of, in that my replacement is set to start February 1. It’s a bit disconcerting because I haven’t yet received an official offer. My boss said last week that they were working on salary. But basically, they’re assuming I’ll take whatever I’m offered, right? And I mean, it’s basically true, but now negotiating will be very awkward. You already hired someone else, so what am I supposed to say? Technically, they could rescind her offer, but what a mess that would be. So I guess I’ll be hearing about my offer soon though? I do know from last week’s discussion that my boss is trying to get me as much as she can. And maybe that’s the reason why they aren’t worried about negotiating, because she’s going to bat for me already? I was bcc’d on an email and she really is, that much I do know.

On the home front, Dante napped for 2.5 hours, so yay! And I had a good health day, although I woke up 2 lbs heavier again. grrr! On the searching for childcare front, I found out we have a benefit through my job that I can get 8 days of childcare per year – it’s a backup childcare program. It’s for daycare centers at $25/day or in home care for $7/hour. It’s still a backup option because daycare isn’t high on the list with COVID and we don’t feel great about having a stranger in the home. But it’s something! I’m going to work on all the paper work this week so I can figure out exactly how it works.

Tuesday 1/12

I was busy off and on today. In the off time, I perused Tantor’s list of books and requested a few too many. But I cut way back from my original list lol! Dante took forever to go to sleep but he did finally nap for about 2 hours. And during that time I was off work, so I got a lot of blogging done – some visiting, a few posts and reviews.

My boss messaged to ask me about many years experience I’d say I have for her to work on my salary tomorrow at a meeting she has with talent acquisition. I appreciate her efforts but I find it so annoying that they have to play these games. She should be able to determine salary without them playing these games, just based on the position and my worth to the department. I hope this means that I will hear something tomorrow or Thursday at least.

Wednesday 1/13

Well today was emotionally trying. Remember how on the 1st my mom called and I had this huge battle with myself of whether or not I should take a chance and help her (if you want the whole run down check out January 3rd’s Sunday Post)? Well I landed on no, because she can’t be trusted. And today I got the proof that I was right. She called me and at first, I didn’t answer. I was working and just didn’t need her drama. But then she called again, so I answered, thinking it was an emergency. Maybe she was making he escape and needed an Uber or something. Very long story short, no she was not making her escape. She’s still with him. She “can’t” leave him. I pretty much told her I was done and that she’d made her choice and she needed to live with it. There were more words, but that’s the end of it all – she choose a man who has destroyed her, stolen from her, beats her, etc. over a relationship with her children and grandchild. And I’m done. I then got back to work, but had a very hard time concentrating. I had a headache all day – still do at 8 p.m.

I just so happened to have therapy today – good timing – and by the end of the session I resolved I can’t keep putting myself through this. I’m not answering if she calls anymore. I’ll text only. On the plus, my therapist helped me to realize that I can be proud of myself. I’m doing what my parents failed to do and breaking the cycle. I’m putting care for Dante first. I’m making sure that he we always know that he’s loved, safe, provided for. I’ll make mistakes, but he’ll never wonder my motivations. Every decision is based on my love for him and desire to keep him happy, safe, and healthy. I wish I could say the same. But i do feel at peace with my resolve. I’m going to try and get to sleep a little early. I’m going to take some Tylenol PM and hopefully get a some good rest tonight.

Thursday 1/14

Stress would be the best way to describe today. My mom called AGAIN. And I did as planned, I didn’t answer, I sent a text “Please text me.” She left a voicemail (I’m assuming before she saw my text) saying she was out of the room, had called 911, and needed an Uber someplace safe because he took all her money. She said she was going to call my brother. He also didn’t answer. After I heard the voicemail I texted him. He also hadn’t answered. He tried calling her, no answer. While we were trying to decide what to do – while also working our jobs – she texted us the same thing she’d left in voicemail. So Phil sent her an Uber and since he didn’t know where she should go – not one of our places! – he sent her to the mall. with her cat. LOL! But the point was to get her someplace safe. Then she was like, “where do I go now?” and we’re like, “Um… I don’t know.” I sent her the domestic abuse hotline number again… because really, they are her best option. She said she would call them. Meanwhile she’s called a friend and they’re picking her up. Part of me is wondering what friends she has? Anyway long story short she asked us for money because she won’t have any until Monday and we agreed that was not a good idea. We asked her what she needed, thinking we’d pay for a hotel room and grocery delivery, but no way were we giving her money. Then she said she was okay her friend would help her. So…. yeah, I have like 1% hope and 99% question of this was an elaborate scheme to get money from us that didn’t work. I hope I’m wrong but yeah, 1% hope.

Meanwhile, work is going insane. We’ve been waiting since September for The Joint Commission to announce our Comprehensive Stroke Survey. They announced it today – it will be January 26-27. Which means rather than having to go in to work 1 time a week starting in February, I have to go in two full days. And I have to be there by 6:30 am meaning that backup daycare really isn’t even an option (they open at 6:30). So Kiko’s going to have to take off without pay – his job gives vacation time on your anniversary date (his is April 20) and you have to use it by the end of the calendar year. Meaning he has no time until January – April. So childcare stress just got way more intense. Not to mention he’s on call that week, so I HAVE to be home by like 5:30 the latest. And that doesn’t even include the shit ton of work that just landed on my plate to get ready for the survey. STRESS.

Oh and did I mention the headache is back? 2 more Tylenol PM and a glass of wine tonight! I think the headache is actually Pfizer side effect. In the scope of things, totally worth it.

Oh and Dante did not nap today. *sigh*

Friday 1/15

Considering the week I’ve had, today was good. I got most my work done – although I do have OT because I couldn’t get done before 3:15. And since I worked late almost every day this week, I was supposed to finish at 2:15. Dante was very fussy today, but he did nap for 1 hour. And that 1 hour was after I finished work, meaning I got to relax and read that whole hour. When he woke up he was fussy and still tired, and ended up cuddling on me for about 10 minutes which was really nice and peaceful. And then he was grumpy. I gave him his tablet. I know, poor form but I have no energy. I turned on Married at First Sight to watch the rest of the premiere (this is my first time watching it as it airs instead of binge watching an old season). When Kiko came home we ordered in dinner and watched the newest episode of Hell’s Kitchen. And I plan to have another glass of wine tonight and get a good night’s sleep. No headache today, so I’m glad to be able to skip the Tylenol PM.

Saturday 1/16

This morning Dante let me sleep until about 7:30 which was grand. We hung out, had breakfast, and I had a nice chat with a friend. Then my brother called to tell me mom had called him last night. She’s back with Scott and they’re getting married apparently. I am SO DONE. I blocked her on my phone and I’m just done. I can’t take it anymore. Then we talked to my stepson and headed out to their house to spend the afternoon. It’s an hour drive, but there was traffic so it took closer to 1.5 hours. Dante napped the whole way. We had a great time – they all had COVID over Christmas making them safe for the next 5 months or so. It’s nice to be able to hang without stress (I have my vaccine but no one else does). After the week I had and with so many people to watch Dante, I got OFF MY ASS DRUNK. I haven’t been drunk like that in years. Me, my stepson’s mom and his older brother had shots and long islands. We danced and played pool and I just let the stress out. Then I sobered up and we drove home, getting home about 11:30 pm. And I’m quickly typing this before bed…. so NIght!

Blog News

Last week on Because Reading

Challenge update

I’m participating in 4 reading challenges this year. Here’s how I’m doing:

Backlist Reader hosted by Lark @ Bookwyrms Hoard: I read 2 books this week and they both count. Total for the year: 3

Library Love hosted by Books of My Heart & Angel’s Guilty Pleasures: none yet

New Release hosted by (un)Conventional Bookworms: none yet

COYER (Fall) hosted by Because Reading:I read 1 book this week that counted. Total for the year: 1

COYER READATHON: Both the books I read this week count toward the readathon.

FitReaders (hosted by Jen @ That’s What I’m Talking About & Felicia The Geeky Blogger)

I’m keeping a scorecard to track my fitness goals. It’s something my nutritionist suggested to help me move past my perfectionism. My current goal is to get to 60 points a week – something I can do without doing perfect every day. I’ll share my scorecard with you below.

My big goal for 2021 is to get down to my goal weight. It means losing 70 pounds this year. It’s a lot, but I’ve done more in the past and if I just focus I know I can at least get close. My day-to-day goals will fluctuate and appear in the scorecard below. I will comment on my goals (where relevant) in the my weekly update above.

 

 

 

Added to My Shelf

I’m trying to be more responsible about keeping track of the books I acquire, so I’m going to start sharing them again. If I share them here, surely I’ll remember to add them to Goodreads, right?

How was your week? What are you Reading?

About Berls

Michelle adopted me as part of her blog when I decided to close down my blog, Fantasy is More Fun. The blog was dying, but my love of reading and the blogosphere was still strong as ever - so I found my new home here at Because Reading!

I'm not just a book lover, but a one time author (that hopes to be more in the future), wife, mom to the cutest, happiest, best 1 year old and step-mom to the craziest, sweetest 20 year old on the planet. My family mean everything to me and they appear frequently in the Sunday Post with Berls. So grab a glass of wine and chat books, blogging, and family with me!

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28 responses to “Sunday Post with Berls | The one with the mom drama

  1. I hate dealing with family drama. I have a brother who is/was a heroin addict. He stole so much from all of us, and constantly tried to manipulate us into “helping” him. It is really toxic.
    Hopefully you get good news this week about the salary!

    Samantha recently posted: Rise of the Moon by LP Dover
    • LOL no hang over! I am really disciplined about drinking water while I drink so I never get a hang over (as in I have never had a hang over and have never gotten ill from drinking). Probably helps that I get drunk off of very little lol!

      Thanks so much, I really appreciate your kind words 🙂 Have agreat week Laura!

  2. I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but I think you are handling the mom situation so well. It has to be hard given she’s your mom, but she’s burned all her bridges and there comes a time when you have to put you and your family first. Sending big hugs your way, Berls.

    I really feel for you and your husband with the childcare issue. I’ve been very lucky in that things have worked out when we’ve been in a real bind–even at the 11th hour. But I know how stress-inducing it can be.

    I am glad you were able to unwind on Saturday. I have considered taking up drinking at times during this pandemic more than once. LOL

    Take care, Berls. I hope you have a great week.

    • LOL Drinking has grown in it’s appeal, hasn’t it?

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. It’s a hard thing to accept – that your mom just will never be what you want/need her to be. But we’ve been there, done this my entire life and I’m glad to finally be putting her drama in my rear view mirror.
      I feel confident we’ll figure something out with childcare – even if it is in the 11th hour as you said. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right? I hope to get some resolution this week on everything.

      Have a great week! HUGS!

  3. Whoa what a week! I may have had pain but I didn’t have to do anything much. My daughter is old enough to take care of herself when she has to. I hope you figure out something on the childcare front. That has to be tough. I am thrilled you got your second shot since I heard they have already given out all the vaccines so many won’t get that second shot. I really hope you hear about the new position because it is bs they haven’t made you the offer yet.

    Anne – Books of My Heart This is my Sunday Post

    Anne - Books of My Heart recently posted: Thrifty Thursday – The Perfect Death by Stacy Claflin
    • Thanks Anne! As much as I look forward to Dante being more independent I cherish these days with him. It’s a catch-22 😛 Yes, I’m so lucky to have gotten both doses of my vaccine. Texas is actually doing an okay job with distribution comparatively speaking. I mean, it’s a clusterfuck everywhere, but less of one here if that makes sense lol. I just hope everyone I care about can get there’s soon.

      Have a great week! I hope your pain is improving!

  4. Oh, Berls, what a week! I’m so sorry you’re having all this stress and drama with your mom. My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are making the right decisions for Dante and for your own emotional health. As Linda said, you should be proud of yourself!

    I hope your salary works out well, and that you can get a daycare solution worked out — one that you are happy with. And well done on getting two Backlist Reader Challenge books read this week!

    Lark @ The Bookwyrm's Hoard recently posted: Sunday Post – January 17, 2020
    • Thanks Kara! It’s been quite a week, eh? I really appreciate it, all of y’all’s support and confirmation really does help. Fingers crossed on the work & daycare front. I really want to get to some resolution this week so I can just stop with the stress and worry. (and move on to other stressors lol)

      Have a great week!

  5. Lazy Sundays are the best Sundays! I hope the childcare benefit makes it a little easier to find someone you can trust for those days you’ll need it. I am so sorry for what your mother is putting you through and am so glad you had a therapy session after the fact. I can’t imagine how hard this all must be fro you but you are absolutely right. Dante will never wonder if there are ulterior motives for his mother reaching out to him and that is a huge accomplishment. Take pride in that! Well I’m typing my comment as I read and oof. I hate that you have all of this heaped on you and with practically zero notice. Wow. I don’t blame you at all for being done. That was a real quick 180 in just a few days. Also? Hell yes for being able to let the stress out with friends and dance!! Hugs and here’s to a better week!!

    Stephanie @ Once Upon a Chapter recently posted: The Sunday Post {1/17/21}
      • LOL! Do you ever type a whole comment and forget to click I”m not a spammer button, and lose the comment? That’s the worst!

        As draining as things have been with my mom, it’s not that new for her. It’s a different kind of drama, but I’ve been taking care of and dealing with her drama since I was a little kid. It’s way overdue me drawing the line in the sand and saying I’m done. So in some ways, her pushing it so far this week was a blessing. Because I’m finally well and truly DONE.

        I’m very hopeful about childcare, but nervous too. Fingers crossed! I hope you have a great week!

  6. Hope the job promo gets ironed out soon for you so you can focus on other things. Tough love for your mom was necessary and hugs to you for hanging in there. Ah, fun bit of letting your hair down at the end of the week. 🙂

    Have a good week, Berls!

  7. Your “mom drama” is unbelievable. What does it take for someone to realise they’re wasting their life and ruining the one of their family? I hope she’ll get into her senses before she marries that man! I know it’s hard, but you and your brother did what you could.

    Best wishes for your new position! I hope they put a stop to those games soon.

    Roberta R. recently posted: Karen Foxlee: "The Midnight Dress"
    • Thank you Roberta! I find it really hard to believe she’s destroyed her life so majorly. But she’s burnt this bridge one too many times – I can’t let her bring my hopes up yet again to let them come crashing down. I hope she comes to her senses for her own sake, but I won’t be there to see it. It’s sad but, like you said, we’ve done what we can.

      I hope you have a great week!

  8. I think you did the right thing about your mom. You really don’t need that toxic/negative in your life. I had hoped she would have come to her sense when Dante was born. Sending you lots of love and hugs. I wish I was closer to help with him since I am currently home.
    You had a rather full week,Congrats again on the promotion.

    Have a great week, my friend! Happy Reading! xx

  9. Sounds like a tough week with the drama surrounding your mom. Sounds like a good decision to block your mom’s number now. And then your job promotion still not being finalized. Hopefully that happens soon. And good luck with finding a daycare solution. I hope next week is a better one!

    Lola recently posted: Sunday Post #422
  10. Sorry to hear about your troubles with your mom. It seems like a lot of us are getting off on the wrong foot for 2021. I hope things will get easier for you. *hugs*

    Nice new reads too! They are new to me ones but I hope you enjoy them! I am sooo bad about remembering to add my books to Goodreads shelves too! I don’t realize I forgot about it until I’m going to post my review there! Lol!

    Here’s my StS

    Have a GREAT day!

    Old Follower 🙂

  11. Oh man, I totally get that you blocked your mom’s number, Berls. It’s not your job to take care of her in any way, shape or form. You have your own family to take care of. I’m sure you’re proud of yourself, and you really should be! *hugs*
    I hope you’ll hear about your new salary soon, so that you can feel a bit more secure in what the future will be like. I also hope that your daycare options will become better, even if you have to get to work at 6.30 in February.
    I miss you so much! Sending you big hugs.

    Linda @ (un)Conventional Bookworms recently posted: Weekend Wrap-up #336 – Busy, Wet and Gray Week